Through The Eyes
by Iruka-Yuywell
Summary: A group of short, linked perspective pieces
1. The Clothes We Wear

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or anyone in it…I know who does, but it sure ain't me.

**The Clothes We Wear**

He's fidgeting again. I wonder if he realizes out uncomfortable he really looks. We've been partners for three years now and that uniform still looks ridiculous on him. I can't say the same for Yuy. It fits him somehow. But Wu Fei? I've never seen him comfortable in anything.

During the war he wore white. Oh I know why. I didn't then, but I do now. Still, I could tell as much as he meant it, it just didn't fit the child I saw. A little boy playing soldier. As much as he believed in what he was doing… Well that is the past isn't it? I'm not the first to comment on how truly young they were then. I doubt I'll be the last one either.

He disappeared for a while after the war. I had hoped he had gone and found some kind of life for himself. Sadly, the next time I saw him, he was in that ridiculous Mariamaia Army uniform. Those shorts… it took a lot for me not to burst out laughing at that one. I'm sure he thought he looked dignified. I think he just looked…Well I'm not sure, but it was a bad look. I'm glad he burned it.

Then he joined Preventers. I know I'm the one who asked. I thought, at the time, it would be good for him. I assumed he needed the soldier's regimen. I was truly happy for him when he accepted my offer. And for awhile, it seemed to be just that. But there are days, now, that I question the wisdom of pulling him back into this kind of life.

It's more than the clothes, I guess. He's a bright young man who could be so much more. Yes he's a brilliant agent. One of our top field agents, in fact. But something in me says he's wasting away here. I can't completely put my finger on it, but it's not right.

The stiff collars. The ties. There's more there than meets the eye. As much as he scoffs at the paperwork that tends to gather on his desk, I could see him more in a library than an office. He has a scholars mind for many things. He tries to hide it behind his badge, but its there for those that look.

I've tried getting him to take some time off. Or even go to college and get a real degree. Preventers has a great scholarship program for its agents. I know for a fact that Commander Une had the boys in mind when she set it up. If only we could get one of them, besides Maxwell, to take advantage of it. Especially my stubborn partner.

Oh don't get me wrong. Duo is doing so well in school. He's going to make one hell of a child physiologist one day. I'm glad he'll be officially leaving the service upon graduation. That manic grin of his has never looked more real in all the time I've known him.

I'd like to see that kind of contentment in Wu Fei's eyes. I wouldn't ask for a smile. That, I believe, is well beyond him. But to see some of the stone leave those dark orbs…or at least some loosing of that damnable tie…


	2. RunAway

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or anyone in it…I know who does, but it sure ain't me.

**Runaway**

I will cut again tonight. I already know that. I can feel the cycle coming on. I've finally found the pattern, but it really does me no good. I will still do it. I am a helpless observer to the ravages that I will do to myself once again.

So I wait. Wait till the time is right and I can watch the crimson flow down my pale flesh. So cleansing. So pure. Odd how I can think of my blood as pure, when I am so tainted. But to me it is. It's the only pure thing left in me. Or on, as it will be.

I've noticed how here on Earth, the blood seems to flow so much easier. I guess it must be the gravity. But then shouldn't that make it clot faster too? I've actually debated this myself many times. Morbid, I know, but when you're stuck out in the blackness of space, you have to occupy your mind with something, or go nuts. As if I am not already.

But no one else seems to notice. Maybe it's the cold front I put forward. The distance I try to keep from them all. All of them, Even Maxwell, are so good at what they do. I never seem to do well enough. Maybe that's just in my own mind, but isn't that where it counts?

I am sure that Yuy, despite himself, would laugh if he knew. I am a weak excuse for a man and a warrior. I know I do not deserve to be counts as one equal to him. He is, as many have called him, perfect.

Sally shoots me another look. Guess I fidgeted again. A real rookie thing to do. I am better than that. I am a top agent in an elite force. I must look like such a child in her eyes. She keeps trying to get me to go back to school. And as much as I'd like to, I do not know how I could go back to such a life.

Too much blood on my hands to ever be the scholar again. But there is no solder in my soul. It is a dishonor to the memory of my clan, but despite the dishonor, I live on. I am by no means suicidal. That would be a greater dishonor. The coward's way out. I am no coward.

Yet I run to my blades. I run to their comfort and to their punishment. I just keep on running away. Even as I plant my feet and stand here at attention, I am running. And I do not know where I am going.


End file.
